How to Keep a Christmas Present Secret
Joyce Deng, Staff Reporter
![Picture](/uploads/2/3/6/9/23693713/2744469.jpg?354)
Imagine this. It’s the last day of school before Christmas holidays and you have a towering pile of presents to give to your friends. You eagerly hand them out and they tear away the wrapping paper as if they were a pack of hungry lions. Next comes the surprised and happy faces except… they don’t seem so surprised. How could this be?! You were sure you never told them what you were going to give them! Well, I’m sorry to tell you the truth but there are a few subtle hints you can give them about their presents that just aren’t so subtle. But have no fear! I am here to tell you how to keep those wonderful Christmas presents a secret. Please keep in mind that these are all true stories.
1. Never text you’re friend the present you will be giving them.
Pretend you’re leisurely sitting with your friends during lunch and discussing your Christmas presents. Friend A wants to know what you will be getting friend B. Unfortunately friend B is sitting at the table so it’s not as if you could simply say it out loud. So you get a brilliant idea; you’ll just text her. Genius! Now friend B won’t know what you’re getting her while you're discussing it with friend A. Everything seems fine until… uh oh… did you just accidentally send that text to friend B instead of friend A?!! And is friend B taking out their phone to read the text??!! You need not worry! Simply snatch the phone from friend B’s hands, run a safe distance away, and delete the text and all other evidence of the crime you have just committed. Friend B might think you’re crazy but it’s all worthwhile in the end when you get to see a genuinely surprised face.
2. Do not (and I mean do not) shout the name of the item you are getting your friend in front of them.
Again, let’s pretend you are sitting and eating lunch with your friends. You’re talking to friend A about what you are getting friend B. Suddenly the room quiets down (because fate must hate you) and you tell friend A the gift in a voice that’s just a bit too loud for this suddenly quiet room. Unfortunately my poor reader, there is no way to remedy this sad situation you have gotten yourself in. The only way to fix this is to get a whole new present. Hopefully, you do not repeat this situation again.
3. Do not ask questions that seem subtle but just aren’t.
What’s your favourite colour? Do you play video games? Do you have pierced ears? What’s your favourite movie? Who’s your favourite singer? These may seem like subtle questions, but if you go up to someone and ask them what video games they don’t have, I do not doubt that they have an inkling of what you will give them for Christmas. Thus, do not ask such obvious questions.
4. Do not keep a picture of the present on your phone when your friend has a tendency to look through your (private) photo collection
Must I explain this to you? Here is a simple math equation that explains everything if you truly do not understand this simple concept. Picture of gift on phone + Friend who enjoys looking through the pictures on your phone = Your friend will see the gift.
5. Do not write the item on a sheet of paper and let your friend read it for at least a minute
You’re discussing the gift for friend B in class with friend A by passing notes. Friend A just happens to sit next to friend B and leaves the note on their desk. Unfortunately friend A forgets about it for the rest of the period. At the end of the period you get time to work on homework and friend B becomes curious of that sheet of paper beside friend A. So what does he/she do? Why pick it up of course! You’re talking to friend A until you notice the missing sheet of paper. You could have sworn it was beside friend A a second ago, so where could it have gone? You look around and…oh, look friend B is reading a sheet of paper. Nothing strange there……wait…isn’t that…Oh my dearest ruined Christmas present!!! Friend B is reading the sheet of paper, THE sheet of paper!!! The only way to somehow salvage the poor ruined Christmas present is to quickly snatch the piece of paper from your friend's hands, tear it to indiscernible shreds, and hope they did not read too much of its contents. Just like in scenario one your friend will think you are crazy but that’s alright. Anything is worth keeping that Christmas present a surprise.
Keeping their gift a secret from them may be hard but it doesn’t need to be. Just follow the advice above and I am 99.99% sure your friends will not know about their gifts before you give it to them. Also, remember that all these are true stories that have ruined many poor Christmas presents. So don’t be like these people (or person) Keep your Christmas presents a secret!
1. Never text you’re friend the present you will be giving them.
Pretend you’re leisurely sitting with your friends during lunch and discussing your Christmas presents. Friend A wants to know what you will be getting friend B. Unfortunately friend B is sitting at the table so it’s not as if you could simply say it out loud. So you get a brilliant idea; you’ll just text her. Genius! Now friend B won’t know what you’re getting her while you're discussing it with friend A. Everything seems fine until… uh oh… did you just accidentally send that text to friend B instead of friend A?!! And is friend B taking out their phone to read the text??!! You need not worry! Simply snatch the phone from friend B’s hands, run a safe distance away, and delete the text and all other evidence of the crime you have just committed. Friend B might think you’re crazy but it’s all worthwhile in the end when you get to see a genuinely surprised face.
2. Do not (and I mean do not) shout the name of the item you are getting your friend in front of them.
Again, let’s pretend you are sitting and eating lunch with your friends. You’re talking to friend A about what you are getting friend B. Suddenly the room quiets down (because fate must hate you) and you tell friend A the gift in a voice that’s just a bit too loud for this suddenly quiet room. Unfortunately my poor reader, there is no way to remedy this sad situation you have gotten yourself in. The only way to fix this is to get a whole new present. Hopefully, you do not repeat this situation again.
3. Do not ask questions that seem subtle but just aren’t.
What’s your favourite colour? Do you play video games? Do you have pierced ears? What’s your favourite movie? Who’s your favourite singer? These may seem like subtle questions, but if you go up to someone and ask them what video games they don’t have, I do not doubt that they have an inkling of what you will give them for Christmas. Thus, do not ask such obvious questions.
4. Do not keep a picture of the present on your phone when your friend has a tendency to look through your (private) photo collection
Must I explain this to you? Here is a simple math equation that explains everything if you truly do not understand this simple concept. Picture of gift on phone + Friend who enjoys looking through the pictures on your phone = Your friend will see the gift.
5. Do not write the item on a sheet of paper and let your friend read it for at least a minute
You’re discussing the gift for friend B in class with friend A by passing notes. Friend A just happens to sit next to friend B and leaves the note on their desk. Unfortunately friend A forgets about it for the rest of the period. At the end of the period you get time to work on homework and friend B becomes curious of that sheet of paper beside friend A. So what does he/she do? Why pick it up of course! You’re talking to friend A until you notice the missing sheet of paper. You could have sworn it was beside friend A a second ago, so where could it have gone? You look around and…oh, look friend B is reading a sheet of paper. Nothing strange there……wait…isn’t that…Oh my dearest ruined Christmas present!!! Friend B is reading the sheet of paper, THE sheet of paper!!! The only way to somehow salvage the poor ruined Christmas present is to quickly snatch the piece of paper from your friend's hands, tear it to indiscernible shreds, and hope they did not read too much of its contents. Just like in scenario one your friend will think you are crazy but that’s alright. Anything is worth keeping that Christmas present a surprise.
Keeping their gift a secret from them may be hard but it doesn’t need to be. Just follow the advice above and I am 99.99% sure your friends will not know about their gifts before you give it to them. Also, remember that all these are true stories that have ruined many poor Christmas presents. So don’t be like these people (or person) Keep your Christmas presents a secret!